free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, i'm Free at last....

Well, praise be, I finally got the final divorce papers - my divorce becomes final on June 16, 2007. I couldn't be happier. Now i just have to mail off that last support check, and that final settlement check (you know, the one where I pay my ex-wife thousands of dollars for the privilege of supporting her non-working lazy butt), and then my obligations officially end. Then I will never have to listen to her screams or demands again. I am SO happy.

another example of why i had to dump this chick - if you've been a faithful reader, you already know that in my largess, i had offered to keep her on my car insurance for a while - essentially, shortly after I kicked her out, she got into an accident and totalled her car. Get this - I finally get her to tell me that the insurance company had taken possession of the totalled car, so I call the insurance company and tell them I want that car taken off my insurance, as well to take her off my insurance policy as a driver. The insurance company then tells me, even with a divorce, i can't just "take her off" my insurance. I then point out that I pay for all of it, and if that is there position, then I will just cancel my entire policy immediately. They then get whiplash from backing up to tell me that they can take her off after 30 days. So I say "fine, just do it". One more example of the anti-male bias in divorce.

Anyway, after all this, last weekend I get a frantic message on my cell phone from Boo asking how could you take me off the car insurance policy? Seems she assumed i was going to keep paying for her insurance forever, even though she is apparently buying a new car that would cost me considerably more to insure. I never called her back, if she wants insurance, she is free to go out and buy it. I'm done.

Letting go

So, chating w/ my shrink for the first time in 6 weeks, I mentioned a dream I had. He always seems so very interested in my dreams, though between the alcohol, pot and getting up early, I hardly remember them anymore. Anyway, I mentioned that I knew I was finally over my hurt and feelings of betrayal, because i had a "good" dream about Boo. I dreamt we were arguing about something, I don't remember what, but it ended with both of us (Boo and me) realizing that it was not worth arguing about, and that we would never agree, but it just didn't matter. We both felt foolish and laughed. That's it - but i knew in my heart what it meant. Before that, all the dreams/nightmares we just about her pissing me off, or humiliating me in public, both things she did on a regualr basis. So this dream made me feel much better. I recognize healing, at least when I see it in myself.

By the way, there is stuff in my life that Boo just never could understand, such as my dreams/nightmares. She just found them too frighting - I found fear in them, but i always looked for the message behind them. She just saw the fear, poor thing. She was just not in touch with her inner life, or was just too much for her to grasp. After a while, I stopped sharing my dreams with her, cause I could see the fear it generated in her. The things those dreams taught me were just too much for her to take in.

I however, still explore my dreams, good or bad, and look for what I'm trying to tell myself. That's why I can understand what that last dream about me and Boo was telling me.

Freud may have said it best - "Dreams are messages we are trying to tell ourselves" - paraphrasing, of course.

At last, some news that warms my heart

Boo's fuck-buddy gets his just desserts....

Ex-Grateful Dead manager sentenced 5 minutes ago



A former manager for the Grateful Dead has been sentenced to five years in federal prison for tax evasion, prosecutors said Tuesday.

Ronald Leon Rakow, 69, was ordered to begin his prison term in June for evading payment of $2.2 million in taxes owed to the Internal Revenue Service, the U.S. attorney's office said.

Rakow was convicted in July of one count of tax evasion. During his two-week trial, prosecutors presented evidence showing Rakow hid his assets to prevent the IRS from collecting taxes dating back to 1985.

Prosecutors said that from 1998 to 2003, Rakow transferred about $5.2 million in income from consulting fees, stock and assets under his control into accounts held in other names. They alleged Rakow directed accountholders to use the funds to pay his expenses.

Rakow had asked for a lighter sentence, but U.S. District Judge Margaret M. Morrow rejected his request. She said he chose to break the law to support his "comfortable lifestyle."

An after-hours call to Rakow was not immediately returned Tuesday

Take 2 - redux

I just realized I never finished the first story I posted. In the spirit of completeness, I feel I must.

Shortly after the chain of events that led me to dump my wife, including the story I'm referring to, where she called the cops and had my gun collection confiscated, I contacted the same cops in order to request the return of my collection. I assumed that since it was legally my property, i was entitled to get it back. Sure enough, it turned out that the only thing they were interested in was my registering the handguns in this state. I had acquired all of them, save the one I had inherited from my father in my 20's, during my life in Oregon. By the way, if you have an interest in owning and using guns, i can't recommend a better state, except maybe Texas. Gun ownership in Oregon is not only allowed, it is actively encouraged. I remember once during my 8 year stay there, the police in downtown - *downtown* - Portland stopped a gentleman who was carrying a large caliber loaded rifle along the streets of the city. Turns out, he was passing thru on his way to a deer hunting expedition, and there is in fact no law prohibiting his behavior. He was not shooting the gun inside city limits, nor was he concealing it. Just walking along the streets carrying it. So the cops chatted him up briefly, and then he went on his merry way, ostensibly looking to shoot Bambi. Anyway, when I contacted the Ventura sheriffs department, they told me I needed to fill out an application listing all the handguns (none of the long guns, including 9MM and 12 gauge shotgun) and submit it to the calif dept. of justice to make sure I wasn't a convicted criminal or other person not entitled to own a handgun. So i filled out the paperwork, serial numbers and such, my SSN, hair color and blood type, etc., and sent it in with a check for the fee for each weapon. Sure enough, they determined that I was not a criminal, or mentally unstable, and whatever else they check for, and they sent me a permit for all my guns. So I toddled down to the sheriff's office, showed them my permit, and sure enough, they had me all my guns, nicely packaged. I had been a little worried, because I thought one of the guns may have been considered an "assault rifle" under california law - a Tek 9, or "drive by special". Turns out I worried for naught, it was in fact the a model that was designed specifically to get around the assault rifle ban we have in Calif. God, I love the NRA. Anyway, the cop goes back to get all my guns, brings them out and says, in all seriousness as only a firearms aficionado could, "You must be glad to get all your babies back!" I replied "Yes, I dumped the crazy wife, and kept the guns!" We both had a hearty laugh, and off I went, collection in hand. And there they remain, as God intended. Note that I did NOT bring them back into the home where my soon to be ex was still living, because I did not trust her crazy ass not to shoot me. I kept them in a storage locker. But as soon as I could get her out of my house, home came my babies. I suppose, in retrospect, I should not have been surprised that they were returned with very little hassle, since I DID NOT BREAK ANY LAWS, AND I HAD DONE NOTHING WRONG. But you know, living with a crazy chick long enough, and you start to doubt yourself. In fact, chicks tend to encourage this as much as they can, since it gives them the advantage. So watch for that too.

And that was "the rest of the story".

BTW, sorry for the delay since my last post, I've had a nasty bout of bronchitis, which slowed me down a tad. I'm fine now, thanks.

BF

Old Friends vs Boo the crazy harpy

So here is another story that illustrates my former marriage. An old girl friend of mine, who we'll call "Pumpkin" whom I dated in the early 90's, called me once around 2005 when Boo and I were living together, to tell me that her beloved African Grey parrot, Eddie, had suddenly taken sick and died. Now, there are several reasons why she called me, for example, when Pumpkin and I met, I was the parrot-person, having had a Red Crowned conure for several years at that time. Pumpkin actually enjoyed seeing my relationship w/ my bird so much that she acquired one, and then another, herself. She was (and still is) a good parrot mom. Also, Pumpkin also knew that around 2000, my baby bird had come down with liver cancer, and died quite suddenly, so she knew that I knew how it felt to lose a beloved bird to a sudden illness. But none of this mattered a wit to Boo, she merely assumed that my talking to an old girlfriend meant that somehow, somewhere, I was fucking this old friend who lives in another STATE, for God's sake. Also, I did commit the cardinal sin of closing the office door when talking to Pumpkin about her parrot's passing. So of course, I was doing something wrong. In fact, I had done this, as I later tried to explain to Boo while she was screaming at me for talking to this person, because I just did not want Boo to see me cry, as I knew probably would (and in fact, I did cry with my old friend about her loss). Perhaps this selfish, or just a guy thing, but i don't like people to see me cry. But no, because of Boo's insane, irrational jealousy, I had to be doing something wrong to close the door. I remember I got very angry at Boo, and stayed so for a while, but it was no use. She was just so fucking crazy that I was not allowed to talk to any of my old friends, especially females. Of course, the same rules did not apply to Boo, she was free to talk to old boyfriends and husbands, both those she had fucked for years and those that were still only interested in fucking her, but hadn't yet (a la Ron Rakow). But of course that was perfectly innocent, after all, they were HER friends, who are inherently good people, not MY friends, who were essentially Satan. In fact, once she actually went to visit her old husband "A Gordin", because she knew he was fleeing the country to Brazil to avoid extradition/prosecution, ostensibly just to pick up some old pictures. I offered to drive her down to East LA, but she insisted that no, he Ex would never give her the pictures if I came along. Now I know she left, and returned, to this criminal at least three times before he finally kicked her out, so I suppose she was probably trying to fuck her way back into his money again, but I trusted her. In hindsight, perhaps I was the fool. The double standard that she carried must have weighed heavily on her soul. But she carried it nonetheless.

Turns out, my old friend Pumpkin is recently a single mother, and had to give up her new African Grey, because she could not handle the load. So the first person Pumpkin calls is me, asking would I like to adopt Simon (the bird, not the baby), since she knows I am a conscientious and loving bird-Dad. Sadly, with the money, time and effort that my crazy Boo is costing me in this divorce, I could not rescue Simon from up in Oregon. But he went back to his breeder, so I know he got a good home. When Pumpkin asked me about the time she called about Eddie (RIP), she asked, did it seem like a red flag that you wife-to-be was so insanely jealous? I said yes, it was one of many, but apparently love is blind (as well as stupid) and I did not read the signs. Lesson of the day - listen to your heart, when it tells you someone is acting like a total nut-case. And for the love for God, don't marry them!

semantics?

So, I note in my Boo's new blog, that she assumes I am blissfully unaware of, she says that "she left me". My question is, since I told her that I was divorcing her, which she begged me not to, and I kicked her out of my house, does that equal to her leaving me? This is so interesting, the way a woman's mind works. Your husband catches you cheating, lying and deceiving him, he kicks you out and divorces you, and you left him? Wow, I need to take some of these lessons in self-denial, if I can just find a woman willing to share these secrets. Or is this all just semantics?

Oh, it was also amusing to see how she laments leaving the one piece of furniture that would not fit into her new garage apartment, a couch. This is funny, because believe me, when she left she took everything that was not nailed down, regardless of it was hers or not. She even took stuff from my FIRST marriage, souvenirs I had aquired on my first honeymon ages ago. But apparently she felt she deserved to take anything she wanted, even though she had not paid or worked for any of it. I was so desperate to get her out of my house, I foolishly said "take whatever you want and go, as long as you go!". Luckily I'm not that attached to things, as she is, so I just move on with my life. But still, where does a woman's sense of entitlement come from?

Greed

It seems now that every time my Boo contacts me, either via phone, email or pigeon, it is to ask for money in some way. She is curious about my taxes, and seems to think she is entitled to the refund of the money she did nothing to earn. She knows about my Flexible spending account, and seems to think that she is entitled to that too. I cannot wait for my divorce to be final, so that I can excise this expensive tumor from my life. by that time, I should have an extensive on-line journal here of her exploits, which I'm planning on revealing to her, once she is no longer a monetary threat, via divorce lawyers. Nonetheless, she continues her new blog, unaware that I know about that too. Nothing really slanderous about me on there (yet), at least at the level of the slander she layed out in her old blog. Whenever I start to feel sorry for her, i just go back and read some of her old blog about me, and my fury returns. She knows that one of the reasons i dumped her was the blog, but there were so, so many other reasons as well. You can check out all that remains at "knitting pagan", on this blogserver. She will flip out when she sees this blog, which is why I still lurk. But the time will come. She seems to think that she can say anything see likes on a blog, and no one can control her. Well, I had no interest in controlling HER life, but i did have an interest in controlling MY life, which is another reason I kicked her to the curb.